Almost a year ago, I got a tattoo! It wasn't my first and it wouldn't be my last, but it would be my most meaningful and a constant reminder of my personal strength! It was an infinity symbol with the word love in it, on the inside of my wrist. The saying goes '...you know my name, not my story, you've heard what I've done, not what I've been through...' This is true for everyone and this was true for me on the 5th February 2012! It was my birthday, I'd woken up alone and crying and uncertain of my place in the world! I had made plans to throw myself a small party at my apartment, inviting my closest girlfriends and their kids, for weeks I'd been planning the menu and drinks, tidying my apartment and making sure it felt homely and comfortable for my guests. But there had been something weighing on my mind, that was coming to surface this day! Through a crazy yet beautiful love, that lead to a marriage and then to its untimely breakdown I had been struggling to hold onto myself, to learn my strength, to understand my pain, to forgive myself and others who played a part in my pain, to move on, to be happy... I was struggling to even stay alive!
When someone destroys everything you believe in, everything you are, when they beat you down emotionally and physically. I thought there was only two choices! To give up or to go on living with the same pain...Then one late night a few weeks prior to my birthday, while laying in bed, scouring through my bookmarked webpages on my iPad, my mind unsettled and contemplating whether to get up an bake a cake or some muffins at 2am for the third night in a row! (Yes i did that!) I found something that would show me I had a third option. I didn't have to give up on my life, but I didn't have to keep living in pain, not moving forward. It would teach me about my own strength, it would teach me endurance, how to learn to live and love myself again...it was a web page called 'To Write Love on Her Arms'...it was a movement and it would change my life!
On the morning of 5th February, I wiped away my tears, walked into a tattoo parlour and I chose 'To Write Love on Her (My) Arms'!
At the time I told my friends and family, the tattoo symbolised my eternal belief in love, that dispite my broken heart and destroyed beliefs in marriage, that I would remain an advocate of love. That I would not let my pain and struggles harden me, but the truth is...the tattoo does mean all that, but it also means ill LOVE MYSELF MORE, ill never give myself up for a love or a relationship, and ill keep making changes in my life to ensure I get a better ending! The ending I rightfully deserve!!
You can support, get involved with, seek help, or further understanding about this movement by visiting its webpage at www.twloha.com.
Below is a except from the website, detailing the 'To Write Love on Her Arms' mission statement, vision and how it all began
MISSION STATEMENT:
To Write Love on Her Arms is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery.
VISION:
The vision is that we actually believe these things…
You were created to love and be loved. You were meant to live life in relationship with other people, to know and be known. You need to know that your story is important and that you're part of a bigger story. You need to know that your life matters.
We live in a difficult world, a broken world. My friend Byron is very smart - he says that life is hard for most people most of the time. We believe that everyone can relate to pain, that all of us live with questions, and all of us get stuck in moments. You need to know that you're not alone in the places you feel stuck.
We all wake to the human condition. We wake to mystery and beauty but also to tragedy and loss. Millions of people live with problems of pain. Millions of homes are filled with questions – moments and seasons and cycles that come as thieves and aim to stay. We know that pain is very real. It is our privilege to suggest that hope is real, and that help is real.
You need to know that rescue is possible, that freedom is possible, that God is still in the business of redemption. We're seeing it happen. We're seeing lives change as people get the help they need. People sitting across from a counselor for the first time. People stepping into treatment. In desperate moments, people calling a suicide hotline. We know that the first step to recovery is the hardest to take. We want to say here that it's worth it, that your life is worth fighting for, that it's possible to change.
Beyond treatment, we believe that community is essential, that people need other people, that we were never meant to do life alone.
- The vision is that community and hope and help would replace secrets and silence.
- The vision is people putting down guns and blades and bottles.
- The vision is that we can reduce the suicide rate in America and around the world.
- The vision is that we would learn what it means to love our friends, and that we would love ourselves enough to get the help we need.
- The vision is better endings. The vision is the restoration of broken families and broken relationships. The vision is people finding life, finding freedom, finding love. - The vision is graduation, a Super Bowl, a wedding, a child, a sunrise. The vision is people becoming incredible parents, people breaking cycles, making change.
- The vision is the possibility that your best days are ahead.
- The vision is the possibility that we're more loved than we'll ever know.
- The vision is hope, and hope is real.
- You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story.
THE BEGINNING:
This began as an attempt to tell a story and a way to help a friend in Spring 2006. The story and the life it represented were both things of contrast – pain and hope, addiction and sobriety, regret and the possibility of freedom. The story’s title “To Write Love on Her Arms” was also a goal, believing that a better life was possible. We started selling t-shirts as a way to pay for our friend’s treatment, and we made a MySpace page to give the whole thing a home. Our friends in Switchfoot and Anberlin were among the first to wear these shirts. In the days that followed, we learned quickly that the story we were telling represented people everywhere. We began to hear from people in need of help, and others asking what they could do to help their friends. We heard from people who had lost loved ones to suicide. Many said that these were questions they had never asked and parts of their story that they had never shared. Others were honest in a different way, confessing these were issues they knew little or nothing about. It seemed we had stumbled upon a bigger story, and a conversation that needed to be had.
Over the six years, we’ve responded to 170,000 messages from people in 100 different countries. We’ve had the opportunity to bring this conversation, and a message of hope and help, to concerts, universities, festivals and churches. We’ve learned that these are not American issues, not white issues or “emo” issues. These are issues of humanity, problems of pain that affect millions of people around the world.
We’ve learned that two out of three people who struggle with depression never seek help, and that untreated depression is the leading cause of suicide. In America alone, it’s estimated that 19 million people live with depression, and suicide is the third-leading cause of death among those 15-24 years old.
The good news is that depression is very treatable, that a very real hope exists in the face of these issues. We’ve met people who are getting the help they need, sitting across from a counselor for the first time, stepping into treatment, or reaching out to a suicide hotline in a desperate moment.
In Australia:
- The most recent Australian data reports that there is 6 deaths by suicide a day, or one every four hours
- Men are four times more likely to die by suicide than women
- Indigenous people are four times more likely to die by suicide than non-indigenous people
- More people die from suicide in Australia than in road related transport deaths and skin cancer
- It is estimated that 249 people make a suicide plan everyday
- It is estimated that as many as 1014 people think about suicide every day
Personal Note: I have never been a cutter or a person who has self harmed, but I have known people who do, I've seen the hopelessness in their eyes, and the scars on their body! If you know someone or you, yourself are struggling, self harming or thinking about giving up...reach out to someone! Trust me. It helps to talk.
If your in Australia you can call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or chat to them online. If there is immediate danger to yourself or someone else call 000.
When someone destroys everything you believe in, everything you are, when they beat you down emotionally and physically. I thought there was only two choices! To give up or to go on living with the same pain...Then one late night a few weeks prior to my birthday, while laying in bed, scouring through my bookmarked webpages on my iPad, my mind unsettled and contemplating whether to get up an bake a cake or some muffins at 2am for the third night in a row! (Yes i did that!) I found something that would show me I had a third option. I didn't have to give up on my life, but I didn't have to keep living in pain, not moving forward. It would teach me about my own strength, it would teach me endurance, how to learn to live and love myself again...it was a web page called 'To Write Love on Her Arms'...it was a movement and it would change my life!
On the morning of 5th February, I wiped away my tears, walked into a tattoo parlour and I chose 'To Write Love on Her (My) Arms'!
At the time I told my friends and family, the tattoo symbolised my eternal belief in love, that dispite my broken heart and destroyed beliefs in marriage, that I would remain an advocate of love. That I would not let my pain and struggles harden me, but the truth is...the tattoo does mean all that, but it also means ill LOVE MYSELF MORE, ill never give myself up for a love or a relationship, and ill keep making changes in my life to ensure I get a better ending! The ending I rightfully deserve!!
You can support, get involved with, seek help, or further understanding about this movement by visiting its webpage at www.twloha.com.
Below is a except from the website, detailing the 'To Write Love on Her Arms' mission statement, vision and how it all began
MISSION STATEMENT:
To Write Love on Her Arms is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery.
VISION:
The vision is that we actually believe these things…
You were created to love and be loved. You were meant to live life in relationship with other people, to know and be known. You need to know that your story is important and that you're part of a bigger story. You need to know that your life matters.
We live in a difficult world, a broken world. My friend Byron is very smart - he says that life is hard for most people most of the time. We believe that everyone can relate to pain, that all of us live with questions, and all of us get stuck in moments. You need to know that you're not alone in the places you feel stuck.
We all wake to the human condition. We wake to mystery and beauty but also to tragedy and loss. Millions of people live with problems of pain. Millions of homes are filled with questions – moments and seasons and cycles that come as thieves and aim to stay. We know that pain is very real. It is our privilege to suggest that hope is real, and that help is real.
You need to know that rescue is possible, that freedom is possible, that God is still in the business of redemption. We're seeing it happen. We're seeing lives change as people get the help they need. People sitting across from a counselor for the first time. People stepping into treatment. In desperate moments, people calling a suicide hotline. We know that the first step to recovery is the hardest to take. We want to say here that it's worth it, that your life is worth fighting for, that it's possible to change.
Beyond treatment, we believe that community is essential, that people need other people, that we were never meant to do life alone.
- The vision is that community and hope and help would replace secrets and silence.
- The vision is people putting down guns and blades and bottles.
- The vision is that we can reduce the suicide rate in America and around the world.
- The vision is that we would learn what it means to love our friends, and that we would love ourselves enough to get the help we need.
- The vision is better endings. The vision is the restoration of broken families and broken relationships. The vision is people finding life, finding freedom, finding love. - The vision is graduation, a Super Bowl, a wedding, a child, a sunrise. The vision is people becoming incredible parents, people breaking cycles, making change.
- The vision is the possibility that your best days are ahead.
- The vision is the possibility that we're more loved than we'll ever know.
- The vision is hope, and hope is real.
- You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story.
THE BEGINNING:
This began as an attempt to tell a story and a way to help a friend in Spring 2006. The story and the life it represented were both things of contrast – pain and hope, addiction and sobriety, regret and the possibility of freedom. The story’s title “To Write Love on Her Arms” was also a goal, believing that a better life was possible. We started selling t-shirts as a way to pay for our friend’s treatment, and we made a MySpace page to give the whole thing a home. Our friends in Switchfoot and Anberlin were among the first to wear these shirts. In the days that followed, we learned quickly that the story we were telling represented people everywhere. We began to hear from people in need of help, and others asking what they could do to help their friends. We heard from people who had lost loved ones to suicide. Many said that these were questions they had never asked and parts of their story that they had never shared. Others were honest in a different way, confessing these were issues they knew little or nothing about. It seemed we had stumbled upon a bigger story, and a conversation that needed to be had.
Over the six years, we’ve responded to 170,000 messages from people in 100 different countries. We’ve had the opportunity to bring this conversation, and a message of hope and help, to concerts, universities, festivals and churches. We’ve learned that these are not American issues, not white issues or “emo” issues. These are issues of humanity, problems of pain that affect millions of people around the world.
We’ve learned that two out of three people who struggle with depression never seek help, and that untreated depression is the leading cause of suicide. In America alone, it’s estimated that 19 million people live with depression, and suicide is the third-leading cause of death among those 15-24 years old.
The good news is that depression is very treatable, that a very real hope exists in the face of these issues. We’ve met people who are getting the help they need, sitting across from a counselor for the first time, stepping into treatment, or reaching out to a suicide hotline in a desperate moment.
In Australia:
- The most recent Australian data reports that there is 6 deaths by suicide a day, or one every four hours
- Men are four times more likely to die by suicide than women
- Indigenous people are four times more likely to die by suicide than non-indigenous people
- More people die from suicide in Australia than in road related transport deaths and skin cancer
- It is estimated that 249 people make a suicide plan everyday
- It is estimated that as many as 1014 people think about suicide every day
Personal Note: I have never been a cutter or a person who has self harmed, but I have known people who do, I've seen the hopelessness in their eyes, and the scars on their body! If you know someone or you, yourself are struggling, self harming or thinking about giving up...reach out to someone! Trust me. It helps to talk.
If your in Australia you can call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or chat to them online. If there is immediate danger to yourself or someone else call 000.
